The Republic of Armed Spokesperson is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its burgeoning hawk population. The cynical, devout population of 4.368 billion Armed Spokespersonians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 24.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Armed Spokespersonian economy, worth 133 trillion rubledollars a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 30,511 rubledollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Armed Spokesperson's national animal is the hawk.

Armed Spokesperson is ranked 240,965^th in the world and 6,734^th in Suspicious for Highest Food Quality, scoring 8.3 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.